Pirates!
by Cricket-The-Duck
Summary: Captain Misa isn't at all happy finding stowaways...AU. For 'Talk Like a Pirate Day'


A Pirate

"Argh Mateys! It'll soon be time for ye to walk th' plank!" Light and L shivered in fear as a large, burly man hurled them onto the main deck of a massive pirate ship. They stared at the crew of what could best be described as gorillas compared to their frames, "Light?" L said warily as the pirate began to tie them up, "Yes L?" He sighed back, knowing something stupid was about to occur,

"I feel we may have brought the wrath of the gods upon us."

"Meaning..?"

"Meaning that somewhere in space, a salamander like thing is having a laugh at our expense." Any further conversation had to be cut short as the ape-men kicked them, "Shut ye traps! The cap'n comin'!" The pirates gave a great cheer as a door leading downwards flung open to reveal...the most surprising eye candy L and Light had seen in quite some time.

She was short, with long blond hair and scantily clad. Breasts were wobbling as she walked, trying to escape to confines of a too small shirt, while various other curves were planning to run from their confines if she got too physical. All in all, she looked like a walking personification of a porn star,

"Well...What have we here..?" She tittered and strutted up to them, cutlass at Light's throat, "And where did you boys find this lovely haul?!" She giggled and spun around, waiting for an answer, "Well?"

"Cap'n Amane! We found th' scurvy dogs hidden away on our ship, preparing to take our supplies for themselves...Includin' yer Death Blade cap'n!" The little lady seemed upset by this and frowned cutely,

"Untie them. I want a match to the death."

"We're screwed aren't we?" Light mumbled as he and L were dragged towards the fragment of evil sealed in a sexy body, "I mean...she's a pirate captain. With massive knockers!"

"Indeed," L stuck his thumb in his mouth, "We must compile a strategy. Sadly, there are no cakes around for me to make the most of my abilities..."

"Never mind that L...Just think about how we can avoid that evil girl!"

As if on cue, Captain Amane strode in front of them, cutlass in her right hand. She seemed...extremely unimpressed, "I don't like anyone who steals by booty..." The lady growled, rushing forward, "So die!"

* * *

The first reaction of the boys was to jump as the enraged female swung at them. Captain Amane's face twisted in anger as she spun on her heeled boot to hopefully catch either one of her victims with the sharp edge of her blade. She missed time and time again as all the men could do was evade her berserk attempts on their life, "Stand and fight like men, rather than running like the dogs you are!" She cried out as her blade finally struck L in the shoulder. Amane swung around, only to be kicked in the head, before a swift punch caught her face. Rage flared up in her eyes and she lifted herself from the wooden deck to her feet. She began to circle them, "Pfft. Stupid boys!" Amane lunged. The boys dodged yet again, going for their double hit strategy. They didn't see the captain grin as she crouched and the two hit each other, throwing themselves off balance. The trio were so caught up in their battle that they didn't realise storm clouds were beginning to settle in,

"Cap'n Amane! There's a storm headin' our way!" One called.

But the captain was too far gone.

Their fight continued. Amane carried on with her reckless swinging, slashing both men quite a few times. Rain had started to hammer them, hindering everyone's vision, "Pah...Die already, would ya?!" Half blinded by rain, the captain took a blind swing...

And almost skidded off the side of the deck. She managed to slash Light deeply though, and he fell to the floor, heaving, "Light!" L gasped. His eyes turned down, "Miss Amane!" The man attempted to remain calm as he saw red nails dig into the railings. The captain of the boat took a lower priority

than the man who was bleeding to death, "Cap'n Amane! Get up here again! Kick these scoundrels in th' booty!" One yelled,

"Cap'n! Pull yerself up!" Two men shoved L and Light out of the way as they tried in vain to lift the little lady, "Cap'n! Yer hand's slippin'!"

"I know!" The captain yelled back, "I can feel that! The waves are getting worse too!" The men attempted to stand. They were semi-successful until a giant wave slammed the grand vessel.

Several things happened at once.

Captain Amane's hand finally slipped from her railing, casting her into the ocean.

Light and L were flung off the ship with her.

And the cargo hold burst, leading Amane's Death Blade to be lost to the waters...

* * *

L woke up on an island. It had a sandy beach, with fruit trees growing at the edge of it. Light was still out, having lost most of his energy in the fight with Amane.

Who also happened to be awake on the beach. And had calmed down some, "Ugh...Where are we..?" She mumbled slowly, "And what the hell are you guys doing here..?!"

"We washed up here like you, Miss Amane. I am L and that is my companion Light. Care to inform me of your name..?"

"Hmph. Misa. Captain Misa Amane. Hardly pleased to meet you." She still shook his hand, "Ugh...What the hell are we going to do?" L pondered for a moment.

"Shelter. Food. Water. Medical care for my friend. Incidentally, would you happen to have a sweet?"

Misa nodded and pulled one out, "May I please have it?" Again she nodded and dumped it in his hand, "That should do me for a little while. Now come, we must help my friend!"

"...You're gonna drag me if I don't come aren't you?"

"Yes. Now bring along Light. Also, can I please have another sweet?"

Misa sighed.

This was going to be a long trip.


End file.
